Memory of a Moron

Way way back, nearly three years ago, Tchann was a little level 60 hunter who loved to run Blackrock Spire. She would three-man LBRS with her rogue and shaman friends. She even taught herself how to kite so that killing Drakkisath was easier for every group she was with. She was proud of her 156 melee dps, and happily ran into the fray with her pet wolf, Mahrou, fighting by her side.

…quite obviously, I wasn’t the best hunter there was. I raided occassionally with a near-static pickup group, but my rolls were constant crap and I only ever got one epic (a pair of bracers from AQ20). Despite being a noob melee hunter, I took my role seriously and worked to do my best at all times.

So, after months of running BRS and knowing the place inside and out, I ended up in an odd pug for UBRS. I don’t remember much else of the group, although I recall that I did know several of the other members personally. All I recall clearly was the other hunter we pugged, somebody decked out in epic purples from head to toe. While he was a jackass to the group, I watched him carefully in case there was something I could learn from him.

By the time we were at the bridge before Drakk, I’d determined that he was a complete moron.

As far as I could figure, he did less damage than me, despite being decked out in purples (and, y’know, doing damage at range like a hunter should do). Sadly, it wasn’t until the bridge that I realized what he was really missing: his pet.

I remember being flabbergasted when I figured it out. Tentatively, I tried to mention to him that he’d forgotten his pet somewhere, shouldn’t he bring it out?

“Pets r stupid,” he replied. “Ur a noob.”

He went on to completely tear into how stupid my gear was and how sucky of I hunter I had to be. I took it all in, still in shock, wondering how he could say those things while outright refusing to call his pet for combat. My mind was stuck in a constant “WTF?!” loop, and he just bitched that I didn’t have a pair of Bone Slicing Hatchets.

He then insisted that he kite Drakk, died horribly, and I picked up his slack by keeping the big guy occupied. The hunter chestpiece mocked me by not dropping, and the other hunter mocked me one last time before dropping group and hearthing.

Sometimes I wonder what his name was. I wonder what he’s doing now, if he’s even still playing WoW, let alone a hunter. But most of the time, I just wish I could sic Mahrou on his face.

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2 Responses to “Memory of a Moron”

  1. RJK Says:

    I think most of us have seen the “petless” hunter. I remember doing shadowlabs and asked the same Q you did, where is your pet? I was told they only had one, it was a bird and just gets in the way….classic.

  2. Matojo Says:

    Y’know, between you, me and Kar we could probably fill a book with Moron Stories. This is the most bizarre so far, though.

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