Posts Tagged ‘anecdotes’

Memory of a Moron

September 30, 2009

Way way back, nearly three years ago, Tchann was a little level 60 hunter who loved to run Blackrock Spire. She would three-man LBRS with her rogue and shaman friends. She even taught herself how to kite so that killing Drakkisath was easier for every group she was with. She was proud of her 156 melee dps, and happily ran into the fray with her pet wolf, Mahrou, fighting by her side.

…quite obviously, I wasn’t the best hunter there was. I raided occassionally with a near-static pickup group, but my rolls were constant crap and I only ever got one epic (a pair of bracers from AQ20). Despite being a noob melee hunter, I took my role seriously and worked to do my best at all times.

So, after months of running BRS and knowing the place inside and out, I ended up in an odd pug for UBRS. I don’t remember much else of the group, although I recall that I did know several of the other members personally. All I recall clearly was the other hunter we pugged, somebody decked out in epic purples from head to toe. While he was a jackass to the group, I watched him carefully in case there was something I could learn from him.

By the time we were at the bridge before Drakk, I’d determined that he was a complete moron.

As far as I could figure, he did less damage than me, despite being decked out in purples (and, y’know, doing damage at range like a hunter should do). Sadly, it wasn’t until the bridge that I realized what he was really missing: his pet.

I remember being flabbergasted when I figured it out. Tentatively, I tried to mention to him that he’d forgotten his pet somewhere, shouldn’t he bring it out?

“Pets r stupid,” he replied. “Ur a noob.”

He went on to completely tear into how stupid my gear was and how sucky of I hunter I had to be. I took it all in, still in shock, wondering how he could say those things while outright refusing to call his pet for combat. My mind was stuck in a constant “WTF?!” loop, and he just bitched that I didn’t have a pair of Bone Slicing Hatchets.

He then insisted that he kite Drakk, died horribly, and I picked up his slack by keeping the big guy occupied. The hunter chestpiece mocked me by not dropping, and the other hunter mocked me one last time before dropping group and hearthing.

Sometimes I wonder what his name was. I wonder what he’s doing now, if he’s even still playing WoW, let alone a hunter. But most of the time, I just wish I could sic Mahrou on his face.


I ended up…where?!

April 7, 2009

All I wanted was 400 Unarmed Skill. Seriously.

After punching out a few dozen mammoths in Dragonblight, I pondered the World Map for the closest location with the highest-level mobs. The southern ridge of Wintergrasp, overlooking Ice Mist Village and rife with level 80 elementals, sounded like a fine plan. I flew up and started punching cyclones in the face.

Then a draenei hunter landed next to me and threw a hunter’s mark on me. As I’m not fond of PvP, and certainly wasn’t in the mood for it at the moment, I mounted up and ran all the way to the other end of the ridge. I figured I could kill one more elemental and fly off before she caught up.

I was wrong.

She immediately unloaded some heavy crits into my poor naked fists, and I was rather annoyed at having my farming interrupted. So, rather than let her have me as an honorable kill, I dishonorably threw myself off the ridge. I landed with a SMACK on a cliff in Ice Mist Village and smirked triumphantly as I hit ‘Release Spirit’.

The smirk disappeared as my ghost popped up in the Barrens.

The Barrens.

I double checked my surroundings. Sure, the minimap said ‘Barrens’ but maybe I…no. No. This was definitely the Barrens. My leap away from the hunter had sent me across an ocean.

So I did what came naturally: opened a ticket. Then I waited.

…did you know that you can travel to other continents while dead? I do now!

One twenty-minute corpse-run later, I arrived at my poor broken body in time for the GM to ask me if I still needed assistance. I thanked him, mentioned that I’d managed to find my corpse, and asked if there was any way to avoid ever doing this ever again.

Unfortunately, the answer seems to be ‘no’.

On the other hand, I cheered myself up by imagining that hunter sitting by my corpse, waiting desparately for me to spawn so she could kill me again. I hope I pissed her off. ^.^

This should totally be an achievement

March 10, 2009

Wings fluttered and flapped as we hung in midair, perched on the backs of our red dragonflight colleagues. The atmosphere was tense, singed with fire and ozone and the ever-looming possibility of defeat. There wasn’t much time left, and despite our best efforts, the situation was looking grim.

Malygos, in his all his ever-present magic and glory, reared up and gave a deafening roar, and we knew that it was over. The heat and pain from his attacks intensified and we felt death upon us. One by one our drakes faltered and fell, their wings broken, dropping our fellow adventurers into the black abyss beneath us. I watched from the corner of my eye as each comrade winked into the inky ocean below, while concentrating on doing what I could to direct my drake into possibly defeating the mad dragon before me.

My heart quaked as I realized that only I remained, mounted, staring down the terrifying dragonkin that now focused his attacks on me. I prayed and used every trick I had available, but it was nothing compared to his power. I felt the drake crumple beneath me, and shut my eyes as I, too, fell into the timeless abyss.

Thus, imagine my surprise when my hooves landed solidly upon hard stone! I looked around, and found myself all alone, and alive, on the platform on which we had initiated the battle against Malygos. I had survived the unsurvivable!

Of course, immediately cheering into Vent about having lived through a phase 3 Malygos wipe probably wasn’t the most polite thing to do. ^.^;

A Story of Semantics

March 3, 2009

I’m standing in Orgrimmar. I’d been using the AH before the raid began, and my hearth was on cooldown, so I was essentially just waiting for a summon. I also hadn’t yet realized that I could just take the zeppelin and be in the same zone we were raiding in. Aaaanyway…

I get a whisper. It’s a level 47 druid, who turns out to be standing right next to me. He asks me if I’m Beast Mastery spec, and I wonder why he didn’t just check my talents. But I confirm that yes, I am BM. Then begins the fun.

He insists that Omen is tameable.

I tell him, no, Omen is not tameable. Omen is a demon. Omen is level ??. All of these factors go into Omen not being tameable. I also mention that I know there is a tameable model that is the same as Omen, but it is not Omen.

He insists that Omen is tameable, and that he knows what he’s talking about. Also, I should trust him, and follow him so he can show me.

I tell him flat out that no, I cannot trust him. I gave him a ‘=P’ for good measure. He continues insisting. This goes on for about five minutes, during which I’m having a good laugh with my guild over this.

Finally, right as I’m realizing that I can just ride the zepp, he tells me that I should “type in kurken” and see for myself. I remind him that the mob has the same model as Omen, but is not, in fact, Omen. He then admits that he knows that, but just calls it Omen anyway because they look the same.

Then I opened up my IRP social pane, and gave his profile the alternate title of “dumbass”. Because they look the same.